alcoholism

[efswaddell769]

I have just watched todays show and the man with the alcohol issue made me very angry and upset. I have just lost my younger brother Robert on 7/2/10 due to alcoholism he was only 44 years old. This has devastated my whole family and the grief I am feeling is so powerful. I agree what Jeremy said to the man that he is a selfish, self obsessed man, he does not think about what he is doing to his family. I am in recovery myself and I am nearly 10 years clean and sober so i understand more than anyone what it feels like to be in the depths of despair, but that man did not care and i only wish my brother had the chance that he has and i hope the man takes the support that is being offered as one minute my brother was here and the next he wasnt. This topic afffected me very much today my heart is broken that my brother did not get the chance to get sober. Thank you for allowing me to share this today.

Yours sincerely

Sandra waddell

[suz]

I'm 5 months into my recovery and although I understand your anger at the man in question you have to remember what it was like for you when you tried to get sober.  It took me 7 years to get the programme I am on and although I heardthe advice given to me or all those years I just wasn't ready to listen.  I admitted I was an alcoholic long before I accepted it.  I go to AA meetings constantly to remind myself of the horrors of alcoholism and the consequences that could occur if I go back to drinking.  Alcoholics are essentially selfish people and often we don't think about the effects we have on our families and hose close to us.  However we are often our own biggest critics and can use bravado to conceal the pain we feel inside.  I never saw the show you are referring to but perhaps the man you are talking about does realise what he was doing but he is caught on that deadly hamster wheel that so many of us get stuck on.  I lost my partner to this illness and even that was not enough to stop me drinking.  The pain I felt was too much but thankfully I did get to AA and thankfully I am working the programme.  Surely as someone who has been through this yourself should realise that its not easy and it may have all been a front on the show.  Constantly having your bad points thrown in your face is not a positive way to deal with this problem.  Yes examine these issues but try and not turn it in to a blame game.  The more it is thrown in his face the more he will turn away from those trying to help him.

[noreencolley]

I lost my husband recently who suffered from alcoholism I say suffered because not many people believe that it is an illness - I myself was very unforgiving towards him until I saw that he really wanted to stop I could see it in his eyes that he was in despair because he couldn't help himself out of it. He quit smoking no problem but the drinking I cannot count how many times he tried but to no avail.  I think that alcohol should be classified similar to drugs in some respects.

[stacey31]

yesterday i found my partner dead.he had  alot of medical prblems due to his drinking and had been ill for a while,we have 4children and a grandson .i keep waiting for him to walk through the door i dont know what to do or where to turn he was only 45

[suz]

I am so sorry.  I lost my partner to drink and it's hard even now 3 years down the line.  It might be too soon but what about Cruse councelling?

[noreencolley]

Where I live the attitude tp alcoholics is 'it is they own fault' but no one knows what is in store for them.  My husband although he has always like a drink was a very good provider for me and the children and was a very proud person.  I t was only when he had to retire through ill health from his job of 17 years and the near fatal accident of our son that caused him to drink heavily and he tried on many occasion to stop.  He had dvt and couldn't drink at all for 3 to 4 months and he admitted he felt a lot happier and healthier in himself but then he had another health scare and he was back on the drink.  A lot of alcoholics don't drink through malice I myself was very anti drinkers until I realised that it is an illness and a way of blocking out the horrid things that happen in life (I do not and have not ever drank not smoked) what I found was that some personalities especially the sensitive type of person drink to be able to cope with life not that I condone drinking by any way I just think that there should be more readily available help for those who want andneed help before the vital bodily organs are effected.  Alcohol shoulf also be more expensive and not sold in supermarkets or corner shops

[johnfranklyn]

I agree with you noreen. I have met alcoholics who drank because of some genuine issue. Only by addressing that issue through counselling for example, can the drinking then be tackled. Its very much tackling one issue at a time and in many cases, drinking heavily is a symptom of trauma. that's what I think and hope i'm at least close to the mark with my view.

[noreencolley]

Thank you John I am now trying to work with another member of the family before it is too late because now I feel I can use some of my counselling skills to help bring out the problem they have and try to sort out.  The person in question has cut down a lot through the week but still binges on the odd weekend when we feel the stresses of working get too much.  We are not giving up though.  If one can be helped it is worthwhile.

[johnfranklyn]

You are so right and they recover their experience can be shared with others. After all, who better to listen to than someone who's been there and done it. i certainly wish you all the very best.