PLEASE GOD HELP ME

August 8th was the day I ruined my families lives forever, where should i start, well i am married/seperated now wife wants a divorce and we have 3 children, 11 yrs old and 5yr old twins, here goes hope you can keep up as im not very good at explaining things, i lived about money big time so much i had to go bankrupt 3 yrs ago, then i put my notice in the armed forces without discussing it with my wife, i also had problems with chat lines and it took over my life even though i love my wife i still to this day dont know why i did it, then even worse i exchanged numbers with someone on facebook and had phone sex with her once, but this was found out as i left the phone number in a box thinking my wife wouldnt look in it.

She forgave me but never forgot, I have never physicaly cheated on her and never would, back in september i was working fo a agency and the shifts dried up and i kept saying i had shifts booked and left for work for the next 3 weeks leaving the house at a night time but then to be just sleeping in my car, i hated myself for this, then on the final day i said we could go into town and get my wages out of my bank, i told my wife to park up and i'll wait outside the bank, as she drove away i walked away from my family my wife and my whole reason for living.

For weeks after i hated myself wanted to kill myself got into a deep hole, then i pulled my sleaves up andgot a job paying money to my wife every month to pay bill, debts and for chidren but now after 6 months of getting on really well she now wants a divorce, i am looking at re joining the forces to prove i will do anything to win her back, but she says she will not change her mind, so as you can see this was all my fault not my wives fault please help me win her back, i am living 350 miles away from my children too which is killing me, i would love to go on the show to try and explain what happend, but i dont think i could ever explain whyit happend as i still dont know myself, thanks for reading and any comment would be great.