How do i win my ex back after ive wrecked everthing?

[Steve Martin 1975]

Hi i walked out on my ex 3 days ago,and to be honest i really dont know why... We have been together just over a year and its been a bumpy ride but the good times out weigh the bumps. She has 5 wonderful kids who i love dearly and they love me. Ive had a mad life really all through my own doing was involved in alot of crime ive been jail many times all before i met Kerry though, i dont know where to start i love her so much and i know she loves me she has told me but she wont take me back because of the kids getting hurt again and i dont blame her the kids are the important thing here.. Its me ive always screwed things up in my life i have 2 children of my own i lost them and there mother because i was always more interested in going out and getting wasted on whatever i could get my hands on and comitting crime to pay for it, it just seems everytime i get some happiness in life i end up destroying it,and i dont know why,i dont take drugs anymore i hardly drink i am out of work at the moment which does get me down but i am seeking work. I really dont know what to do we love each other dearly but she dont want the kids getting hurt again i know i could make her and the kids very happy i get scared its like theres a voice inside my head saying get out now your only going to screw it up and get hurt and what have i done ive walked and destroyed everyone for nothing i cant get these voices out my head she makes me so happy and ive destroyed it all sorry its not making much sense im in abit of a state and it makes it worse that she wants me and i cant go to her because she wants to protect the kids......Please any help and advice would be grateful as im not coping with this even though ive caused it all    

[Admin]

theres a voice inside my head saying get out now your only going to screw it up and get hurt

Hi Steve, i`m no expert on relationship issues but just reading what you`ve wrote above, surely getting out after a year after you love someone hurts anyway, probably as much as in 2 3 or 5 year or longer ,so your basically putting yourself (and them) through something that will probably never happen anyway..

[Admin]

We all screw things up at somepoint, the thing is to put those things right and carry on

[Steve Martin 1975]

I want to put things right ive tried but she has come to the point now that she dont want the kids getting hurt like they have she had all that with her ex husband,the kids looked at me as a father figure which was great i know the kids love me and i know she does but she cant risk me walking out again over nothing and it is nothing thats why its killing me i miss her and the kids so much i just want to go down there and give them them all a big hug and say its all going to be ok but i cant....

[lucy xx]

um, im not an expert on relationships either but ive been in the bad and the good so ive been on the receiving end of this problem lol.  i dont know if this will help but it might just give you the womans perspective    

she probably just needs a little time for the dust to settle and for her emotions to calm down, if this only happened a few days ago shes probably still feeling fairly emotional, upset and angry about it.  give her a little space and maybe write her a note or text just to say that you're really sorry, you're not sure why it happened but you're working on not being such an idiot in future    and it wont happen again. let her know that you want to be there for her and the kids.  in the meantime, let your actions speak louder than words and show her you can deal with this like a grownup.  men can say whatever they like but the ones worth hanging on to follow it up with their behaviour  

in my exerience blokes (probably women too, but i cant comment on that) usually do this when they've had a fairly 'eventful' past lol and cant get used to having stability and 'normal' lives, they tend to freak out, kind of desroying it all before it can be taken away from them.  might not be that for you but just throwing it out there as a possible reason lol.

really hope things work out for you, the fact that you admit most of the trouble in your life has been youre own fault makes you sund like a decent bloke  

[heavensangel]

hmmm, with 5 kids off my own to raise, i'd wake up smiling every morning if i had a man who loved me, loved my kids, would stand by+ "not run off" when the going gets tough, you may not be the kids' biological dad but be "there" for her coz it takes a "real man" to be a proper loving father to those kids so you mr- get ur butt in gear + go tell her + those kids u r someone they CAN rely on + quit feeling sory 4 urself. A hug to take away sting my words.... alot work being a parent u know.