Do i choose my friends over my boyfriend??? i need help

[Rbarrett]

I need some help i do not know what to do, my friends will dissown me if i get back with the love of my life

i was with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years we were childhood sweethearts, he loved me so much he bacame obsesive and i did the same, the two of us never went out with our friends and we seen eachother every day without a break, so we were going out about a year and a half when things went bad, he was always a nasty drunk, we went out one night close to xmas and we got into a row where he grabbed me by the throat and told me abusive nasty things, i managed to get away and i ran upto his sisters house, the next day he couldnt remember a thing so when he came to the house crying and saying that he loved me and that he would stop drinking i took him back,
so about a year later i was out with my friends for the first night since we had started going out, he got that agrivated that he started drinking and followed me out, he did the same again except this time i got him arrested, i found out a few months later that he had been with other girls so this was the end of all my trust in him, a few months later i broke up with him eventhough he was trying seriously hard.
now i have been broken up with him for about five months but we have been meeting up in secret to be with eachother for the last month, my mum and sister found out today and they said that all of my close friends will never speak to me again if i get back with him and that they wont be happy either,
he has changed so so much and he is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy forever and he now realises how much he loves me and he couldnt live without me he even asked me to marry him, we have agreed that if we get back together things will be different, we will both go out with our friends and only see eachother twice a week,we would be so much happier and would have a way better relationship!! i cant live wthout him!!!!!!

Should i lose all my friends for the love of my life and potential husband and father of my children???
Please help.

[Admin]

he sounds very possesive and agressive . Do you really want this guy to be a potential father of your kids.

[johnfranklyn]

Alcohol, verbal abuse, physical abuse, cheating, lying -

do you chose that over family?
do you chose that over friends?
do you really consider having children with this person?

You've already started lying to friends and family, that is not a healthy relationship.
When he starts beating you, will you keep that a secret as well?

If you carry on with this relationship, you might as well start booking a bed at A&E.

Come on, wake up and smell the coffee, i'm sure you've seen the stories on the news, in the press, on tv shows about men who beat women.

Now is time for a little self help, but as you clearly won't take advice from family and friends, I don't think anything that anyone says here is going to make the slightest bit of difference.

Will you prove me wrong and save yourself?

[RJD]

Personally, I don't think any woman should ever put themselves through that kind of treatment. Seeing as you've posted this question on the forum, I would think you are asking for further opinions.

I'd humbly advise you not to get back into a relationship with this person.

If he has physically AND verbally abused and been lying as well, then I don't think it's a choice between friends or him. It's a choice of whether you want to hand yourself over to a violent, untrustworthy man and expose your own children to him or remain with people that i'm sure; love and trust you.

I think that fact is really what you should be considering now. Hope you make a wise decision.

[heavensangel]

I think you should learn to love yourself 1st, learn to be alone, to sleep alone, to eat alone + explore how u really feel before u rush in2 anything with a man who will probably + absolutely 100% lift his hands to you again, men like him are animals, they never change so tread carefully + choose wisely because maybe the next time you no be so lucky to be able to come on this msg board to ask for help.... u'll be in a hospital bed or worse. sory for being so blunt but you need a wakeup call girl. Hugs.

[RJD]

I'm sorry to post again. I know that this seems like I, a complete stranger am trying to push you into doing something that follows MY own beliefs, but i'm just afraid for my own family now.

If any woman would even consider getting back a person like this which you have plainly said is so capable of abuse, then are my mother and sister at risk of this?

I am just hoping that a woman finding herself in a situation similar to yours can weigh their own and their children's safety as more valuable than a relationship that an abusive man would be able to offer.

[aetherr]

see what hes like and if he rly has changed fair dues but MAKE SURE YOU KNOW that hes changed before you consider im again i wldent take him back anytime soon as that will cause havok just find out whats going on the decide if hes worth throwing your life away for

[Leanda]

hey you  are stuck in a hard situation here , are you sure he has changed and he's not just tellling you this so you'll get back with him and also if you do decide to get back with him, if your friends can't accept the way you feel about him there not really friends then they should accept you no matter what. at the end of the day we all make mistakes so if u want give it a try and tell him first time he hits you or raises a hand to you your leaving him hope this helps xxxx