Advice please :(

[peter62]

Hi guys im just writing on here for some much needed advice to help me decide what to do from here on in.

Please note - I have been with this girl for 27 months we got on great up untill she became close friends with laura and we had the odd dissagreement and argument etc but as she spent more time with laura she started to get really argumentative and didnt set the mood for the holiday that well so we both said if after the holiday we are still the same well call it quits.

so here goes... my gf at the time (sarah) used to hang around with an older woman (laura) which was a friend of her older sisters, laura then introduced her to this guy (dave - ive never met him) but there used to txt all the time and call each other etc but i didnt take much notice of it, I did have my suspicions about it.

Then she decide to get a new car with the scrappage deal and he got invovled too much to say there were just  friends, he was goin in and threatening the sales people because they were having trouble finding the specific car etc he also offer to replace her sister car which was being scrapped, so of course i asked her is she sure shes just friends with him of course the answer was 'yes' which progressed to an argument.

Then a week or so after we went on holiday with her parents and she was constantly texting laura and dave and constanly on the phone to one of them so i decided to take a defensive approach to it and drop hints she was using her phone too much and that we are on holiday to have a break from day to day life the odd text or phone call i can manage but texting ever 5-10mins and a phone call every other hour, i even asked her to leave her phone in the room but small arguments broke out about it all and well it went downhill from there,
when we got bk off holiday i apologised for acting the way i did but in a way i was being honest and in my eyes i was right, she seemed fine with it all then the next day she come round after texting me sayin we need to talk, i knew perfectly what it was, and she had been round at lauras all morning and afternoon, so the obvious happened.

So after a week I let her know how i felt etc and that i could work if she didnt spend as much time with laura and when she was me she didnt constantly text or ring her or visa versa, she said she doesnt wanna split up but it seems the right thing to do so i said if u changed your mind then you knew where i am.

I then asked her again after another 9days of no contact between us and she said shes grown to the idea now so i said ok then atleast i tried, Then i had a gut feelin something was goin on between her and dave so i decided to login her facebook for the first time and i funny enought found an email between her a dave basically it was dave tellin her he cant be just friends and that he doesnt want to see her again cos she used him to get her car and sort her a replacement car for her sister so i read on and then i saw when did u sleep with me n she replied it was a week after i split up with pete i was confussed etc.

I read this email 3 hours after the last message was recieved and tbh was pretty gutted by it.

The next day who should i see walkin around where i work......looking for me.......yeah you guessed it sarah and she said she just wanted to see me and talk to me but doesnt want me to think that were getting back together or anything so i was like ok then  :roll: then we said few words mainly just sat there sayin nothin because we both felt awkward then i had to get back to work so i gave her a hug and went she txt me sayin she misses me and was like the first hug all over again, so i reply that i miss her too.

Then the following day she said can i see you so i said ok and picked her up, she then said that she still loves me and she misses me and gave me nother hug she then kissed me and said cane give it another go when i replied i dont know she started cryin so i said ill just drop u off at ures but as i pulled up to hers dave was sat there havin just dropped her sister replacement car off and when i asked who it was she made out like she didnt know him. I confront her about what ive heard and she said that she didnt sleep with him so i said y do i not belive you and she said when he says slept with he means foolin about and that she didnt have sex so when i told her shes lieing she was like what do you mean so i explained i had seen the message etc she was dumbfounded and made excuses which made it even more obvious she was lieing.

Any advice? i still have to write this properly its a little rushed as i am meant to be at work now also sorry for the essay

[Admin]

im going read this one over again, its a long one

[peter62]

Yeah im extremely sorry about that but its all about the bigger picture ill write a short version haha for people to read quickly

[peter62]

Short Version

Basically my gf and i were havin a bit of a bad patch and arguin like twice a month for the last 2-3months of the relationship which got to us so we said if the holiday goes south its would be best for us both if we stopped the relation ship, she was txtin a guy she met throught a friend n he seemed to be gettin too involved in her private life, anyways she didnt stop textin him and her friend while we was on holiday which annoyed me so i sat down and had a few gentle words about it she too the umph and n argument started then the holiday went all wrong from there, when we got bk we split up, after a week of no contact i got hold of her and told her exactly how i felt towards her and about everything and she didnt want to no basically she said she didnt know what she wanted, so i left it about 9-10 days then asked her if shes decided what she wants yet and she still didnt so i said ill leave u to decided if u want to give it another go u know where i am, about aweek later i found out shed slept with this guy a week after we split up and wasnt the happiest of bunnys when i confronted her about it she lied to me so that leaves me wondering..........if she can sleep with someone else soo soon after splittin up with me thn it doesnt really say much about her true feelings does it....i know it wasnt cheating or anything but its kinda hurtful after 27months....  

Should i forgive and forget and get back with her or should we go our seperate ways?

[bluehair]

Hi peter sounds like ur ex knows whats shes doing people always think the grass is greener problem is it always pans out the same im 34 and have never cheated in my life why cause iv morals plus for me its about having a best mate sex ruins way to many peoples life but hears how i deal with life id never take a cheater back cause im worth more and id never let no one have the power over me to make me hurt and if they did theyd never know lifes way to short to let anyone who trully isnt sure if ur the one into ur life be happy and im sure youll find someone who loves you for you good luck

[Admin]

Better late than never, sorry you didn`t get many replys on this one.. we`re a bit useless latley..  to many readers not enough posters..

[peter62]

Yeah your right there uve opened my eyes on the whole subject many thanks bluehair, lol its ok admin its better to have one good reply than many replys making small sense and not answering the questions in hand thanks guys