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I'm not searching but wanted to post a message of hope for those searching.  I had a son in 1981 and was coerced into surrendering him and was expected to geton with my life and forget about him.  There wasn't an option so I did get on with my life but I never forgot my son. 

In 1993 I got married but it was my sister who told my husband about my son.  It was all I could do to tell him the basic facts and we didn't talk again about my son as it was too painful for me.

In 2004 I found my son through Genes Reunited without actively searching.  He had also joined the site using his original name but had inputted some details wrong about immediate family so it gave me the opportunity to contact him.  My son had been searching for me since 1999 when he turned 18 and had found my family.  They told him that they didn't know where I was amongst other things.  I also found out later on that my mum had written my son telling him to accept that I din't want to be found.  This wasn't true and my mum had always known I wanted to be found.

My son lived with us from Dec 2006 till April 2009.  We eventually fell out in Oct 2009 but the door is still open a crack if he decides to contact me again.  I don't regret finding my son as I know he is alive and will always love him.

I honestly don't know but it's worth contacting the show.  I know I am going to ask very obvious questions that you've already thought about and tried so please bear with me.

Have you tried Genes Reunited and Friends Reunited? - I found my son through Genes Reunited and I wasn't actively searching.  Fortunately he had joined with his original name and put up a basic tree.  If you haven't it's worth posting messages on the site.

Ancestry.com is fairly good.  If you can afford the membership fee Norcap ( http://www.norcap.org.uk/default.htm ) can help, also After Adoption ( http://www.afteradoption.org.uk ) may be able to help - I think they will do that for free.

I hope you do manage to find her because it will be closure for her too.  I was coerced into surrendering my son who was in 1981 and it is the most painful experience I have been through.  A day didn't go by when I didn't think of him so it was answer to prayer that I found him alive and well. 

Unfortunately neither of us have any further leads.I feel sure our mother may still be alive. Is this something the show could assist with? Kind Regards Rachel Illsley

I agree with you as I have to know parents who have suffered the loss of their children.  I'm sure everybody would a gree that one abused child is one too many.  However there are parents who are targetted due to false allegations, the child / children suffer with  medical conditions or simply just need help and support.  I am admin on a forum that helps supports parents whose children are in care which also gives advice on how to deal with their cases

My situation is different as I do know what it is like not to raise my son due to coerced adoption and it is the most painful experience I have ever been

Have you had any success searching?

If you haven't you can contact socail services or the adoption agency that dealt with the adoption.  Don't be fobbed off if you do as you can legally search for your sister.

Have either of you had any success in tracing your families?

Dropping in to say "hi".  I have watched the Jeremy Kyle Show since it started 

R.E.U.N.I.T.E.D.

Relinquishment, the hardest thing to do for any woman,
Her baby lost to adoption, never to be hers again,
Sadness, pain, torn to pieces, two lives that need repairing,
The future is bleak for the mother who's lost her child.

Enduring onwards, the pain to be beaten down,
Despair and heartache always there, hidden by a smile,
Pretending the world is rosy and moving forever on,
The hard exterior hiding so many cracks beneath.

Undying love for the lost child keeps her going on,
The years go by and the memory never, ever fades,
Work occupies her mind during the day, partying at night,
Life has to go on , the act never broken as she is strong.

Nothing really changes inside with birthdays as a reminder,
Men come and go in her life as she will not commit,
Too frightened to get close, too frightened to be pregnant,
Fears of pressure and lies that cannot be fought again.

Intense pain eventually buried so deep inside her soul,
Needing to be loved before she is too old for love,
A young man, younger then her, determined to win her,
She accepts his love, frightened to end her life alone.

Trust in another begins to grow though not completely,
She needs another despite being guarded and keeps control,
They marry and travel through their life together cautiously,
The years go by with her still hurting but not alone.

Eventually her dream comes true for closure at last,
To find her son simply by chance, not prepared,
Her heart acts then her head takes over in complete fear,
The fear dispels, the response from her son positive.

Dreams do come true for those good of heart and faith,
Today I couldn't be happier even if I tried any harder,
My Lord took me on a journey I couldn't begin to understand,
Yet now I do knowing my precious son is alive.

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