My Son

[singlemum]

I am in desperate need of help with my son . He is 15 and has become very abusive and his temper is out of control. He can't live with his dad and there is no where ele he can go other than in to care. I don't want this for my son as i do love him very much. He has no respect for me or the home in which he lives in. He loses his temper when he don't get his own way. He was kicked out of his main stream school and put in a pupil referral unit , which he has also been kickd out of. Due to his threatening and abusive behaviour. I have tried everything with my son we have ben to counseling and anger management all to no avail. I feel like i'm totally alone with this. My eldest son is no problem and i really don'tfeel that this is fair on any of us. How do i stop this and have a respectful home with my two georgeous sons.

[Han]

Is he taking drugs? Have you thought that prehaps something has happened to him and he cant express himself or open up to it. Also sometimes in split families the upheaval and stress of it doesnt come out till quiet late on after the fact. I know its hard I worked in childrens homes with teens and they arent nice places and it isnt somewhere you would want him to be he would only get worst. Have you thought of sending him on a boot camp or prehaps going on one together i know this can be very very expensive but there is one run out of the states which is a whole month of you and him learning to communicate and work together. It may be worth looking into as it sounds to me that your relationship has broken down completely.

[singlemum]

Hi ya Han thanks so much for your reply , yes i have looked into the boot camps that run in America but they are way out of my price range they cost 13,000 thats more than my yearly income. Me and his dad split when he was 3 and have remained very good friends we didn't split on bad terms. The thing with my son is while things are going his way he is happy but the moment they are not thats when he kicks off. I have always been a firm but very fair parent , as for the drugs i know that he was smoking last year and early part of this year i'm not so sure about now.

[Han]

Then that could be your problem and maybe something you want to explore I dont think its as simple as if he doesnt get his own way then thats when it starts there has to be a trigger prehaps you should start to keep a diary over a 3 month period see if you can work out a pattern certain times of the month, if he has a part time job is it just before he gets paid, or do you notice he doesnt have as many friends as he used to, could it be he is being bullied by a gang I say that because that happens to. Good about you and his dad i wish my husbands exs was as understanding 10 yrs now and its still like pulling teeth to get her to do the things the court says she has to in relation to their son.

[Jade Winter]

I AM A TEENAGER , i have been through this and i know how u feel . i watched my dad go through the trouble of trying to help me , does your son see his dad? mayb if he doesnt he needs to? if u do let him go into care your son may not want to see you again , and if he gets foster parents he may treat them like hes treating you?      you may need help as so may your son? your will see the light and will stop treating you like this ?

[johnfranklyn]

Sometimes as parents we forget how difficult it can be to be a child / teenager and often forget that a childs / teens life is somewhat harder now than it was when were of that age.

They face so many new influences on thier lives that can be positive and negative.

The pressures placed on them are varied, influences from various media sources. If a problem occurs in another country, its reported on in your home within minutes. Then there are other pressures such as fashion and the often perceived need to be in with the latest fashion from clothes to gadgets. Whilst all small things on the surface, all add to pressures that were not so obvious as little as 20 years ago.

On top of this, there is the additional burden of peer pressure. The pressure to join a gang, smoke, take drugs, taste alcohol and the pressures of exploring the opposite sex.

All of which can stack up and take a toll.

Is there any external influence from friends or someone who may appear to be a friend? Someone in his friendship circle that could be an adverse influence.

Keeping a diary of events is an extremely good idea, it could identify triggers over a period of time that are not immediately obvious.

[Han]

John do you mind me asking what your profession is?

[johnfranklyn]

Not at all Han. I'm a full time carer for my disabled wife and father of 4 teenagers. (3 girls, 1 boy aged 13,14,15,16) and ex-soldier having served in the British Army.

[Admin]

hi john 3 girls and a boy like myself. well almost, 3rd girls due in march.

nice website..

[Han]

2 girls 1 boooooooy and oh boooooy wat a boy he is lol always in trouble lol but love him to bits