my neice

[wattycub]

my 13 year old neice is getting out of control, her mum has had major problems with her. She accused her step dad of hitting her, eventually after intervention by the police who didnt charge him and a social worker who brought her to stay with us in the short term, she was with us for a while. Eventually she returned to her mums at her request. She has been lying, swearing at her mum and stepdad, and her teachers, walking out of classes, hitting out at her mum, and continually accusing people of things they have not done.

Her mum has severe headaches now and hasnt been able to work for some time. Her behaviour is starting to affect her 5 year old brother, does anyone know of any bootcamps or retreats in scotland where we could arrange some help for her.

[shadyfish]

Sound to me that your niese is craveing attention and thise is a common way they behave within a re-constituted family. A boot camp could be an answer but not for all as shown on a special done by Jeremy some time ago. I think there is strong indecations that it is the whole family that need to be helped. Not as indevidules but as a unit. There are so many other reasons this teenager could be behaveing the way she does.
It could be pear presure, a dislike of the step farther, or a feeling of rejection an afection by the mother.
I can only comment on what i have read and it would take a family counciler to be there and hear all sides and thus an apropreate course of action. if I can find out about any bootcamps i will post the information for you till then try you local agencies to see if they have any information. sorry i can not help more than this an god luck. Shadyfish

[Han]

http://westridgeacademy.com This is what I think you should consider I have heard great things from people I know about it. I know its a very long way for her to go but they base there programme on understnading look at it think about it talk to her about it and then go for it if all are happy with it.  A lot of  what she could be experiencing could be hormonal body changes in young women can cause surveer problems both emotionally and physically and mentally another step would be to see the gp without giving her an option. good luck

[johnfranklyn]

Before bootcamps etc, has the child been seen by a specialist, a counsellor etc. There maybe a genuine reason for this behaviour that has not been diagnosed.

[shadyfish]

A very valid point . ADHT or even in my sons case he went through school without anyone rearlising that he could not read. I was told that children with any one of the many forms of dislexia become very good at predicting a word in a sentance or they become very disruptive within the class room as my son did. He if asked to read would get himself thrown out of the class and this spilled out into his behaviour out of school.
It seems children and young adults have the missconception that you dont ask when you dont know, and they dont want to lose face with ther mates.
I am pleased to say that he has learnt to read and is also a pairent himself. so an assesment by a profeshional could through lite in this matter

There is still a stigma attached to seeing councilers as well so you may have to work hard with the child to persuade them to attend such sessions but persavear the reward most certanly out weigh the effort.
Good luck for the future and we sertanly wish you a happy conclusion to this all to common problem