my kid wants to meet her dad but he dont want to know

[ruth912]

hi my little girl is now 10 and i have always told her about her dad and given her photos of him. i tryed to get hold of him though his sister but had no luck. i am having a really bad time with her lieing and stilleing thing like money and things from the house. but now she is taking other kids bikes and taking things from the shops. she knows it wrong to do but she says she dose it because of her dad and he should have the gut to see her. her dad has my number and address and he pays csa but that makes her more mad she says to me why is he paying csa if he dont want to know me.please help i am so affrad she will turn out to be one of them hoodi thugs and will reuin her life.  

[minx]

i think that youa nd the dad should plan to meet up and explain things to him and see if he will see her. if not then why not take him onto the jeremy kyle?

[Han]

Look to start with kids from all worps of life will do those things you say she is doing. My step son tried it a few times I got so fed up i called the shop marched him and his mates round there publically humilliated them by making them write a letter of appology paying for the stolen goods then cleaning the car park. Granted that wont work for ever kid. He is from a spit relationship I'm married to his dad we have a strong relationship and always will. With your situ prehaps wont be an easy one. Clearly he has his own issues I think you should suggest your daughter write to him see if the fathers sister will pass it on to him make sure she does it without your imput so its all her. To be honest I think her dad makes a good excuse for her actions and prehaps the attention she is seeking isnt from her father but from you prehaps she excepts you to fight her corner and push harder. Maybe she really blames you for him not being there and Im not judging you just trying to see it from her point of view and how i would maybe feel towards my mother. I know I'd be very confussed just be patient and supportive because whether your there or not she feels alone.....

[lauraedison]

where can i get some help?
i used to have contact with my dad, but it was only when he wanted to see me, but had to ask his wife first which annoyed me becauses hes my dad and i wanna have my dad in my life but he just doesnt want to know id love to take him onto jeremy kyle, i have a alcohol problem well not a major one but could get worse i strongly believe my dad is the blame to my excessive drinking, knowing me real dad does not bother with me hurts me i can sit there and cry sometimes and say why not dad? i could just give up on him but i wanna give him one more chance to be my dad. helpp someone pleaseeee x

laura
16yrs old
northants.

[Han]

Laura,

Firstly it's never easy when your parents are seperated my step son finds it hard. He is lucky as I love him to bits but from the sounds of it your dads wife has to much control. Your 16 now and it's time to take control of your life it is YOUR LIFE wake up dont start down that road of drinking etc its not worth it doesnt change things for the better. Why not show him what he's missing a young women who is proud of herself and confident in her abilities. I know it will be hard due to age and lack of experience in life but trust me pull yourself together.

Re your dad you cant force him to see you prehaps if you write him a letter saying how you feel. Maybe go to his parents your grand parents talk to them. Failing that just walk away one day he will realise how much he loves you just dont let them destroy you your so young dont get bitter at your age experience life at your age you can just about do anything god I wish I was 16 again i'd do thing different thats for sure.