Having children!!

[Rox]

Well....Where do I start..... :roll:
I am 21 years old, and before you think thats young, It is not when you ve been through a lot and had to grow up quickly...... I have a partner who is nearly 21, who also has been through a lot... We live together at my mother`s, also with my sister... who is 12...
I work in a school, mainstream... but work one to one with children who cant cope with everyday life at school, and also has ADHD... I love my job, and look forward to going there everyday....
But................ :|
I want a baby, my partner does too, but dont think as bad as me.. I`ve got an osession with it, I know I have, I dont think anyone knows I have... All the time, I have baby on my mind... clothes...boy/girls,names,where things would go, how the birth would be, christening,finidn out im preg..gettin big...Just everything, I think about it....
I`m always doing tests on my own, just beacuse I wanna be pregnant,when deep down I know I`m not!!
Everyone I know has children 1/2 or are pregnant, Every single person I know!!!      
But...... I do wanna do it properly Have my own place, and be alone with my partner,but its so hard to get a place where I live!!
I just want a baby  big time.... I dont think you could know how I feel unless, youve been in my situation!!
I know I`m only 21, but I`m old enough... Been with my partner for 2 years and were made for each other, everyone will tell you that...we never argue and just are best friends as well.... Just this I cant talk to him about as dont wanna put pressure on him....
I`ve been brought up with children, all my older siblings have kids, 7 in all and I`m god mom to all of them, and I`m always havin them.....My friends have kids and I see them alot to... have them reg too....
It`s just so hard...Cause I want it to hapen by acident, but am on the pill, so know it wont!!.....
Its sooooo hard.... I know it will happen (unless I cant have kids) But am impatient and want it now!!
Can anyone give my advice please? :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :oops:

[Rox]

Nobody have any advice???

[Han]

You need to step back and relax you wont get pregnant on the pill and not sure while your so desperate either. I was told when i was 21 I would never have kids because I went through cancer and this relates to your other post aswell but I now have 3 beautiful kids and Imnearly 30. Dont rush into this mothehood is not an easy thing no matter how brilliant you are with ther peoples children I was to always having my nieces and nephews and my friends kids it was awsome but having your own its totally different. Relax all the time your taking the pill it wont happen so why obsess over it. Prehaps you should also talk to the doctors about how your feeling to.

[shadyfish]

Rox I empathise with your situation. I would like to say that your obsseion could well be a medical (pshycological) problem which i would advise you to see your GP.
I can also say that although you may have a good relationship, to fall pregnent without discussing it with your partner would be a grave mistake. iF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS THAT SOUND THEN WHY CAN YOU NOT TALK TO HIM. The basses of all good relationships is trust and hounasty. Talk to him ask his oppinion on haveing a child, and ask him for help and support with your obbsesive compultion.
The mother of my eldest son did get pregnent by comming off the pill without talling me and that put so much presure on the relationship, I love my son dearly and he is now 20, but i am not with his mother.
what ever the relationship a child is a lifetime commitment and should be a joint deshion based on both fellings and circumstances so please do the right thing for the right reasons. Hope this is of some help, and good luck

[ellie90]

hi i have a little boy 3months old im married wiv another baby on the way its relly hard work having a child as im only 18 if i could go back in time i would and i would wait till im older but its done now i find it very hard somedays i argue with my husband as hes working everyday so he helps when he gets in but its still hard work but i got my boy and thats all that matters. when people my age say they want kids they dont they should live there life have fun then have kids and get married i wished i waited but i will allway be thankfull i have got a heatly little boy that i love more than anything in the world.

[shadyfish]

unfortunatly like most things we learn from our mistakes. I married at 21 and thought I was ready but was not. We all at an early age fill that we are ready for the responsability of marriage and pairenthood but my experiance is that we are never rearly prepared for all that is involved in marrage and pairenting. Perhaps we should find a better way to educate our children to prepaire them better for this as it is the biggest commitment they will ever make. A marrage mayu end in devorce but our children are for life and it is our responsability to provide and protect them as long as we live

[Han]

Ellie thats great advise to give young people are to quick to rush into having children but that I believe is because they are missing something in their own lives family values arent the same as when i was a kid far to many easy options for young people that the govenerment gives them. I think your a very strong young lady having a child so young and now another one you must have a very healthy relationship with their father. Well done