Im new here and need some advice pls?

[leannelouise]

Ok, so im 30 years old and have two children, Daniel 10 and Sophie 8 nearly. I split up with their father after years of alcoholism, gambling and domestic violence on his part four years ago almost. He moved back to his home town which is over 200 miles away from me and since we split up despite him saying that he is desperate to see his children he has only seen them about 5 times in the time we have been apart. One of those occasions being over night although he told me not to go out that night in case the kids wanted to come home and he would have to bring them? He doesnt work, all i get from him is a measly £5 per week via CSA whilst i provide everything for the children, working 21 hours a week at present!
I do have a new partner that he is not very keen on, afraid that i am trying to block him out of his childrens lives and bring a new father figure in. He doesnt like the fact that my new partner pays for holidays for us and takes us out, although we both work really hard all week, and maybe their father could do that if he went and got a job to provide properly for his kids. He has continuously made promises to the kids which have later been broken , to the point that both of them dont want to talk to him on the phone anymore. It would appear that these two kids that have been through so much already are learning very early on what their father is like, but he says that i am the one stopping him having contact with the kids. I have asked them both numerous amounts of times to call him but they just dont want to. Should i be making more of an effort for them to call him or should this be their decision?
 

[mattlam2]

Ok, so im 30 years old and have two children, Daniel 10 and Sophie 8 nearly. I split up with their father after years of alcoholism, gambling and domestic violence on his part four years ago almost. He moved back to his home town which is over 200 miles away from me and since we split up despite him saying that he is desperate to see his children he has only seen them about 5 times in the time we have been apart. One of those occasions being over night although he told me not to go out that night in case the kids wanted to come home and he would have to bring them? He doesnt work, all i get from him is a measly £5 per week via CSA whilst i provide everything for the children, working 21 hours a week at present!
I do have a new partner that he is not very keen on, afraid that i am trying to block him out of his childrens lives and bring a new father figure in. He doesnt like the fact that my new partner pays for holidays for us and takes us out, although we both work really hard all week, and maybe their father could do that if he went and got a job to provide properly for his kids. He has continuously made promises to the kids which have later been broken , to the point that both of them dont want to talk to him on the phone anymore. It would appear that these two kids that have been through so much already are learning very early on what their father is like, but he says that i am the one stopping him having contact with the kids. I have asked them both numerous amounts of times to call him but they just dont want to. Should i be making more of an effort for them to call him or should this be their decision?
 

[lynda61]

Ok, so im 30 years old and have two children, Daniel 10 and Sophie 8 nearly. I split up with their father after years of alcoholism, gambling and domestic violence on his part four years ago almost. He moved back to his home town which is over 200 miles away from me and since we split up despite him saying that he is desperate to see his children he has only seen them about 5 times in the time we have been apart. One of those occasions being over night although he told me not to go out that night in case the kids wanted to come home and he would have to bring them? He doesnt work, all i get from him is a measly £5 per week via CSA whilst i provide everything for the children, working 21 hours a week at present!
I do have a new partner that he is not very keen on, afraid that i am trying to block him out of his childrens lives and bring a new father figure in. He doesnt like the fact that my new partner pays for holidays for us and takes us out, although we both work really hard all week, and maybe their father could do that if he went and got a job to provide properly for his kids. He has continuously made promises to the kids which have later been broken , to the point that both of them dont want to talk to him on the phone anymore. It would appear that these two kids that have been through so much already are learning very early on what their father is like, but he says that i am the one stopping him having contact with the kids. I have asked them both numerous amounts of times to call him but they just dont want to. Should i be making more of an effort for them to call him or should this be their decision?
 

Hi
I think you have done all you can if your children have made up thier own minds and desided that they do not want contact with thier fater then it is up to him to change thier mind and prove that he is up for the job
I wish you luck and hope every thing turns out well for you