Sexually abused by serving police officer who was my father

My mother was seriously ill and had to have a life saving emergency hysterectomy. She suffered depression at the time as a result and due to what she went through and losing her mother also, I dont blame her feeling depressed. I did realise later that my dad because my mum was not wanting him near her therefore turned to me and that my mother later I suspect realised what he was doing. You see we were as close as sisters mum and me and all of a sudden when she came down stairs and told me to go to bed, the following day she became an alien towards me. I was only young and could not understand what was happenenig and that it was wrong.
Dad told me he new it was alright because he worked on the child protection side of the police (he said, I dont know now wether that was the grooming or wether true) and he also told me he was watching me all the time and not to say anything. Our neighbour next door was also a friend of dad and a police officer and he said when he wasnt there the neighbour would keep and eye on me.
I developed epilepsy although not diagnosed untill and adult and was in and out of the doctors, on each occassion my dad would not allow me to go on my own, incase I said anything. I do remember even at the time the doctor thought it was odd a then growing girl could not be seen on her own.
I had a seizure at their house and stopped breathing. I was on my own with dad and mum upstairs this was the same night they had coerced me into repeating we can get over it not much happened they kept saying. You see I had said unless he accepted what he did was wrong I would go to the police and they told me to visit (foolish I now know) and we would sort it out. They told me he would lose his police pension if even the hint of it was mentioned and I should remember that.
That evening when mum went to bed and I was again on my own with dad I apparantly collapsed and stopped breathing. I have been tortured since as to flashbacks of dad trying to shut me up and I worry he seem to try to smother me. Indeed when the ambulance arrived I was screaming he was kissing me and they told me it was mouth to mouth to save my life, he was asked to not attend the ambulance and hospital as it was obvious something was not right. Now I do know with epilepsy I get very confused afterwards. But I can catergorically state that my dad tried it on again and I believe the stress of it mad me fit atleast if I believe him that he did not as he said harm me, because I have to be fair I dont properly now remember.
I feel I keep going back in time and cant help it. I am treat like a lepper and outcast by my family who said it didnt happen at all and that they would have known! I chose to have no more contact.
When I became seriously ill after giving birth and friend called them because she thought I was needing them and when I woke from the operation there was my dad holding my baby. I felt myself welling up and found myself screaming that he needed to go and get away from me and my baby. They were embaressed and indeed my friend was too. I felt unsafe with him near me and my baby.
I tried to go to the police and it never went far bacause they said I would not make a strong witness due to my health and depression.

I am nearly fourty now and after having a seizure keep going back in time. I have approached the doctor and am asking for help as the feeling of being followed wont go away. As a child I made up a pretend character who repeatedly in dreams would sort him out, if you know what I mean, only a dream and I believe she was the daughter of the character bioninc woman and man. I believe I chose them due to the fact if they lost a limb or were hurt it would repair or be replaced and this person is still in me who tries to get out every now and again and my character changes. When I leave the house she is there and I am not the same person.

I asked the police to offer him a lie detector test and test me also and they would see the truth and they said it was against his human rights. Would Jeremy Kyle offer him one if he is so innocent.