My grandson?

[Angemill]

Hi Jeremy, My son had a girlfriend that would come and go and we would offen hear that she was with other men, then on my son's birthday 27 April 2009 (at the time having her monthly) she left him again then re apeared around 3-4 weeks later saying she was pregant, we had been told that she had been with other guys, but my son wanted to belive the baby was his. so we went out and got baby gear etc... then she left him again. a number of times. the baby was born in feb 2010, my son and myself got to see the baby about 4 times and the she deleted our phone numbers and facebooks etc when we text to see if we can see the child she answers with who is this every time. my son wants to be the father but we have know Idea if he is. As she wont do DNA, and also says that we can't spend time with him. Is there anyone out there that can give us some tips. We are living in new zealand and are finding it hard to get help.

[johnfranklyn]

Hi Angemill, is the girlfriend living in the UK?

Firstly, I would like to compliment you and your son for being the kind of people you are and wanting to do the right thing, it seems quite a rare quality at the moment. If you're in New Zealand and the girl is in the UK, this obviously provides a whole heap of difficulties and not just because of the distance.

I cannot understand why this lady will not do a DNA test which itself raises questions. Could I suggest that you no longer rely on the internet and texts as the messages often get deleted or lost in time, but instead rely on letter writing, keeping a copy of everything you send and send everything recorded delivery, at least that way you have a permanent record of everything you sent and said as well as being able to prove they were delivered.

Whilst times have been testing for you, it is possible that times could become more trying, so constantly be polite and reasonable, but like I suggest, keep permanent records of everything you send. This way, you can clearly display you have tried everything.