Add your own life poem

[ADHD Chris]

Just try and write one about your life. Writing this poem today, my first one ever, helped me to focus and get through a bad day.

I have lived my life with ADHD,
Where all around noticed, except for me.
What life could have been or still could be,
If someone had seen fit, to f*cking tell me!
-
-
It?s not my fault I shout and Ball,
Sometimes, I have no control at all,
How great life would be, free of ADHD,
To see things from the view, of normality.
--
-
It can be hard, to get through each day,
With my inner voice and his negative ways,
It?s nice when he?s quiet and can?t distract,
What right to my life, does he have to impact.
---
-
My Job is such, that it helps me hide,
The mental anguish that boils inside,
Six children who don?t worry every day,
Get them home safe so they can play.
----
-
I borrow happiness, never mine to keep,
Like a lifetime lived in a hazy sleep,
But I know it?s the only way,
To conquer ADHD and feel alive one day.

Good Luck

[Han]

Thats made me want to share one about me and what Ive suffered.

The night falls gentle upon the earth
but hard within the heart of a terror-filled child.
There is no peace this night
but a sentry-like awareness of
every noise, every movement
within the house.
 
A silent prayer is taken upon the wings
of the mourning dove
who waters the ground below with its tears
watching puddles form where each drop lands
forming a new ocean of sorrow.
There is no peace this night.
 
The tender child draws itself
into a tiny ball as if to disappear
... footsteps are heard in the hall
"please no" is whispered, "please go" is prayed
as the doorknob quietly turns.
There is no peace this night.
 
The dove soars higher, shaking sobs within its breast
penetrating clouds, gliding on wind
seeking its source
looking for the Light
knowing there will be no peace this night.
 
The shadow falls across
clenched fists, tousled curls,
drawn up limbs, eyes squeezed shut
against the scene about to unfold
scarcely breathing, knowing
there is no peace this night.
 
Feverishly winging toward
the rainbow of light and celestial destination,
the dove contracts and gasps with the pain
of its little charges' spirit
and delivers the message
To the being of Light & Beauty
who swoops down to grasp the hand of the child
and deliver its pain to another dimension
to be stored until the child is stronger
and able to face the reality of evil on the earth.
 
The angel cradles her charge,
gently rocking, while tears stream down her face...
mixing with the silent tears of the child.
The dove quietly sings its grievous song of mourning
for the lost innocence of this precious tot.
There is no peace this night.

[ADHD Chris]

Good one Han.

I hope your pain has eased with time.

Good Luck

[Blue]

Chris, Han, this is one excellent thread, Thank you

[DonnaM22]

Hi all,

firstly i would like to thank chris for making this thread, this poem is how i felt abandond by my family being push from piller to post when i was in foster care. I have loads of poems that i wrote to get rid of some of my hurtful emotions and this is just one of them.


You Were Never There


You were never there for me
You never really cared for me
You always used to doubt me
You never let me have my say
You always made me suffer and pay
You always made me pay the price
You never gave the right advice
You used to treat me like a punch bag
You always made me feel so sad
You always used the same old threats
You never had any regrets
You always made me take the blame
You always put me in the frame
You made me care for our mum
You never let me have my fun
You always gave me all the grief
You always had all the relief
You made me take the weight on my shoulders
You were the ones who made those boulders
You always used to lie to me
You never let me feel free

You expected me to be an adult before a child
You never expected me to run wild
You expected me to do everything
You said I had done nothing

Now I am older and not there
Now is the time you want to care

Now I am older
Now I am bolder
There is no one to keep a folder

I can go to any length
I have built up all my strength
You no longer have a slave
Because I have learnt to be brave
Now you want me to come back
Sorry this time I refuse to pack
I now have someone who I truly love
He makes me feel like I can fly above
I have someone in my heart
You will never tear us apart
Now I am grown up you want me there
But this is the time where I don?t care
I?ve lived 15 years through misery and fears
I?ve cried so many unhappy tears
Now the family is in a heap
I will no longer stand and weep
Now the family is in a mess
I will no longer carry the stress

I will say something you may not bare
No I am not there I don?t have to care
You used to stand there and shout ?out?
Now you can?t because I?m not about

You only ever cause me pain
There was nothing for you to gain
That is the way you played the game
You don?t like carrying all the shame
My love for you was never there
It?s because you never really cared

I have moved up and moved on
Which is more that I can say for anyone
Now you can?t stop me being free
I hope I have helped to make you see
Life with you has been so long
Now I am where I belong.

[ADHD Chris]

Thanks Donna,

I am so pleased you posted your poem, You were never there. After feeling the relief from writing my poem, I expect you had a similar experience writing yours. I totally agree that it's a great tool for releasing the hurt and anguish people feel.

I hope things find their way at home, gl to you both.


ADHD Chris

[Admin]

yes the poems are great, thankyou really enjoyed reading them, hope we get some more..

[DonnaM22]

most of my poems i wrote when i was about 13-15 years old.

glad you liked it, i may post another soon.

thanks to everyone for all your advice.

Donna

[DonnaM22]

Night And Day


Walk with me though the night
Stop dead and hold me tight
The moon is such a wonderful sight
I makes your eyes shine so bright
Lay with me upon the sand
This love I feel is just so grand
Listen to the lovely sound
The waves echo all around



Walk with me though the day
On the sand the dock the bay
We say no words
Un yet we speak
With our body?s we learn and teach
Bell will ring
And children will scream
You are my only dream
Without you I could not breath
So please don?t ever go away or leave
By your side that?s where I?ll stay
Day and night, night and day.


by me to my partner.

[Han]

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away.

I lost my son in april and this is how I got my feelings out. Like you Donna I have alway written to releave my pressures.

[ADHD Chris]

That's what we need to encourage others to add their's or decide to write one.

Passionate to the end.

Follow suits folks, makes you feel better than any pill i've ever taken.

ADHD Chris

[DonnaM22]

In my eyes foster care did not help me, as i felt abandoned by the people i thought were supose to love me unconditionally, i am the youngest out of 7 and no one came to my aid when my mum took an overdose in 1997 which resulted in my mum have the first of 6 strokes.

Family

You were suppose to always be there
Instead you shoved me in foster care,
If only you knew what cards I was dealt
If only you knew the pain that I felt
I only tried to do things right
To show you all that I could be bright

Instead you pushed be from pillar to post
I was the one you hurt the most
Why did you beat me so so bad
Why did you make me feel so sad
I was the one that you subjected
I was the one that you rejected
You all helped ruin my life
You each took a turn at throwing the dice

You make me think I had you to hold
How could your hearts be so cold
If I could only make you see
I do not believe you?re my real family
I will not go back into foster care
Because I believe you should have been there

So go ahead mum take your pills
Make yourself even more ill

And If you die
I will try not to cry

And if they need someone to blame
They can not put me in the frame

I was not here
I was not there
Because you put me in foster care.

[Han]

O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me.
So perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be.
We waited and longed for you to come.
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother,
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now you're gone...but yet you're here
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy,
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong
We'll forget you never--
The child we had, but never had
And yet will have forever!


Its quiet strange Im finding this thread quiet difficult reading through my poems is something I havent done I've written and boxed every single one like an emotion shut away.

[Han]

I'm pregnant I just got the news
I sit rubbing by belly waiting for you.
Although you can't move yet I still fell you there
as I close my eyes and fall deep into prayer.

Dear God, thank you for this precious child
this is a miracle from heaven there is no denial.
I imagine holding you as you place your hand into mine
as I opened my eyes and realized the time.
The time was in the past
but that vision of you is a memory that still lasts.
You left me to early
and for this I still weep
my womb is empty
the pain is so deep.
I can't help but wonder if you are ok
I imagine you placing your hand into mine one day
as we soar side by side in the heavens above
but for now my angel I will still give you love
as I rub my belly you are not there
as I look up to heaven with a wondering stare.
I close my eyes and begin to pray
Jesus, will you please bless me again one day.

[ADHD Chris]

I think you are amazing Han. You think your not tough, well I think what you wrote shows just how strong you are.

I know you will never forget what has happened, now or in your past, I'm just glad you have the ability to look to the future.

Love from all of my Family,

ADHD Chris

[kyle]

See me for what I am
And not what I appear to be
For my beauty hides within
locked inside without a key

I wrote this when I was 18
When I was 28 I got a tattoo of a kiss mark on my bottom; 10 years on whenever I'm p*****ed off, or someone is being annoying it still makes me smile.
 No one knows the answers but small things help.

[johnfranklyn]

One step forward
Three steps back
Your life never seems to be on track

Hurdle after hurdle you climb
Often to wonder why?

Is it me, is them?
Does it happen to everyone?

Problems never come in ones
But seem to come in three?s and four?s
Never seem anywhere else but at your door.

These are our downs.
These are our tasks.
But how do I solve them one might ask.

One at time is my advice
One at a time is my vice.

Life is good
These are tests
To get through we must do our best.

A problem shared is a problem halved
And in friends we must trust.

A problem is only that if we let it be
A problem solved is our experience
Our experience we can share
Another day will soon be there

A new beginning
Another day
They will soon go away

One at time is my advice
One at a time remains my vice

[Anglo-Saxon]

SLAMMING DOOR.

Laid in bed the night before,
heard harsh words and a slamming door.

Told myself i would not cry,
knew inside that i'd get by.

The hardest thing was you made me choose,
which ever way a parent i'd lose.

Thought maybe i had been bad,
or in some way i made you mad.

Was too young to understand,
as she kissed my brow and squeezed my hand.

Had to stand and watch her leave,
did not cry or even grieve.

Try not to think about whats past,
but memories they will always last.

Older now and i know much more,
still hate the sound of a slamming door.

[ADHD Chris]

Painful memories Saxon which brings back horrific ones like that for me too. Always better out than in..GL

Great Post.

ADHD Chris

[Han]

Hey chris long time no post how r u?

[ADHD Chris]

Hi Han.

How are you doing?  I bet your still doing a gr8 job on here still and I wish you all the best.

I’ve not been too gr8 lately. I have become disenchanted and disillusioned by the lack of everything our local CAMHS are offering and have done so far in my daughters assessment for diagnosis.  The school are still telling lies about her behaviour. They have stated in black and white on official forms requested by CAMHS that she does not fidget and her attention span is normal. We asked her today how school was going and she said her name had been up on a board as a punishment at school for 2 weeks as she won't sit still in class!!!! How dare the school lie to hide their own short comings!! These are the same group of morons who sent her to the Head’s office because she kept touching her pencil case during class instead of taking an adult approach and just confiscating it until the end of the lesson.

She had 4, 1 hour sessions of observation with CAMHS.  They set up painting and drawing tasks. everything was organised for them and set up almost perfectly, so there was no challenge or difficulties’ what so ever. They all did things they like doing!!!  I ask the simple question: What child would play up if they were given something to do they really enjoy? I suggested watching her at school and doing her homework, then they would see the frustration of not being able to think about something she is unhappy doing and see all motivation disappear.

I see absolutely no benefit for diagnosis purposes as only severely affected children would stand out, but I do think the sessions would be more appropriate as THERAPY. Part of helping ADHD and ASD children is organising their lives and giving them structure and things they like to do in a safe environment.

Sorry to rant Han, but the whole situation has peeved me off. It’s all so gutless and almost pointless. I am so frustrated having to deal with an organisation which is lagging at least 10 years behind the latest understandings of these disorders‘.  I am severely damaged goods because I was NOT labelled and given no help and guidance, yet they have stated they don’t like to label children with a condition, just in case it’s not 100%  correct. I call not helping a child that needs it neglect, they call it processes and procedures!!  They are proud to have used this system of assessment for 15 years now, How can anyone be proud of taking no forward steps in that length of time? To those who only look within as lateral thought and consideration are Alien concepts in their stagnant minds.


The guy there thinks I am over the top and he believes nothing that comes from the US concerning ADHD as it is funded by drug companies. I don’t think he liked that I pointed out it is exactly the same over here. I also reeled off charities names and the donations they get from the makers of Ritalin to try and remove some cotton wool from the cocoon he seems to live in! Why does the world judge all of America by it’s interfering foreign policy? They have the biggest study group in the history of mankind. 6,000,000 children, teenagers and adults have been diagnosed and assessed. Surely all that information makes their studies and conclusions the most accurate available to the experts in ADD/ADHD?



ADHD Chris

[Han]

Chris Hi Im sorry things have worsened for you but we are still here you know and if there is anything I can do from my part of the world then you let me know I can look into organisationgs in the us and from here in canada get any info you may need in black and white we all know how much the system loves it black and white. I would also prehaps look into the possibility of changing your daughters school if that is an option for you she should be somewhere they are prepared to help her gain the structure she needs not shut the problem in a name on the black board or in the office of the head dick (sorry). Chris email anything you might need I will hunt it down for you promise big hugs and hey things will work out you have friends in places you least expect and those people will do all they can for you .

[ADHD Chris]

Thanks Han, your a credit to this site. Your kind words and offers are definitely from the heart. Only people who have experienced emotional pain can relate to people like me and I know you have and have had more than your fair share, yet you are still motivated and selfless towards others. You don't take things as personally as I do perhaps?

Serious question:

How do you do it?
How do you stay motivated each time you hit a brick wall?
Or on the other side of the coin, how do you restrain it if you do feel it but are able to not display it?

I just go through big lows and highs like a Bi-Polar person. I give up mentally when it’s really bad and just have that sinking feeling like I have collapsed on the inside and my stomach has fallen out. When I’m on a par or better I feel I can be a lot like you come across, as you seem Generous and caring, considerate and thoughtful.

How are you getting on with the bullying situation? Is Billy back in school? Have you put the willies up the Head (dick also) yet?
Take Care Han,

Chris

[Han]

Hi Chris well its hard to explain and trust me I get a lot of melt downs as well. I guess my motivation is not to let the pain win. Not to let it control me there are days it gets the better of me but i turn on some music doesnt matter what it is just has to have a beat I lossen up a bit and then I can motivate myself again. Theres times where I can feel it coming so ill sit down and Ill write out what needs to be done over the next few days stick about the place and it helps me remember what is needed. Theres times where my husband will pick up the slack bless him and carry me through it.

I thank you for what you say but I have always been the person to fight others battles but never managed to fight my own. I care deeply very quickly about people I think are worth my time and chris I have a lot of admiration for you and all youve been through and still dealing with. Its a 2 way street you give a lot on here to even if you feel you dont you do people read your posts and feel quiet compled by them Ive recieved a few PM's from it not sure about the others.

My problems when they hit always show you can read me like a book at times but for many years I hid myself away people couldnt get in now I cant keep them out.

My step son well its always going to be an issue all the time he is with his mother and nope we decided to step back and see if she can handel what she has created because rest assured she cant and when she fails and he gets to strong for her and to much he will be shipped off to us for us to fix him but I know in my heart it wont pose to much of a challenge he knows who loves him and who gives there all for him to achieve his goals so we will see chris.

I think you need to find out what your main focus is or can be for when you feel yourself slipping or when you hit a big low and see if it can be the thing to level you out. You probably have already tried this but I went onto a site the other day looking for ways to help with the depression side of my issues and I found some useful things about diet prehaps you should think about what you eat and drink and see if cutting some of those out help you feel a little more able to cope. hugsx

[johnfranklyn]

Chris, every school has a log on children that the teachers keep. It is a secret that is often kept away from parents as teachers use it as a councelling tool for themselves. You can request a copy of it under the FOI and as long as the school actually use this facility, it will reveal info available nowhere else. If you need info of how to use the FOI, let me know and i'll tell you how to request a copy of the log. (e portal event log)

[chritler]

Now, this is a poem all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
Just like my glasses,
when I play football
I'll tell you how I became the Boy King of a town called Des-Brair

In the west of Desborough born and raised
Doing physics was how I spent most of my days
Revisin' out nights and learnin' all cool
And all playing some football outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Put laxatives in my drink 'cause they thought it was good
They laughed all night and my face turned red
I said "Now I'm going home, my revenge I shall prepare"

I plotted and I planned day after day
Those two jerks shall surely pay!
I took a break from plotting and opened a Pepsi
I put The Wombats on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First can, yo this is grand
I pulled the ringpull off and dropped it in the can.
This is the drink that I really like
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear no rattlin', I drank all that
Is hospital the type of place to send this cool cat?
My parents think so
They're shoutin' and angry
I hope they're prepared for the Boy King of Des-Brair

Well, they pumped my stomach and when I went back
They asked me why I missed science and math,
I ain't trying to get detention
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I avoided the question, but they kept askin'
In the hilarity, they continued baskin'
Fell out with them all, this isn't what I need
As I dropped a dart in my club foot, it began to bleed

I banged my head on my bed about 7 or 8
times and in my sleep, I breathe like Darth Vader,
I peeled at my cheesestring
As my cat, Kylie purred
I sit on my stool, as the Boy King of Des-Brair.

[Admin]

very good chritler

[chritler]

Wow, thanks admin.

Any more poems?

[shadyfish]

Nice to see some poets out there. Ive been writing them for 35 years. when time permits I will post one. hope you all enjoy what people are shareing. great stuff

[Davie Boy]

Here's my effort... I was abused as a 10 year old 38 years ago by a bloke... this kinda opens little doors in my head... goes well with Lilly Allen's Fear music...

My Fear

Take a ride in my heart
But watch out for the damage
I'm right here on a journey
To find what's left to salvage

Mistreated by someone
And he's not really bothered
I blanked it all out
Feel like I just been clobbered

He stole something perfect
He stole something precious
It mucked up my head
And it mucked up my friendships
Who can I trust, would I ever be mended
After my life had been wholly upended.

I've had enough and I wont take this hurt any more
My soul and innocence is lost for ever more
Something to abuse forget and then shame
I won't take no more of this pain

I've had a right gutsfull
Not sure how to manage
Will the fear ever go
Will the pain ever vanish

There are more just like me
I know you are frightened
Find someone to listen
Until they are enlightened.

If they care not to listen
If they care not to hear
You've now got the strength
As they might feel your fear

It's all down to love
And it's all down to trusting
Someone will abuse it
Then it all just starts rusting

I've had enough and I wont take this hurt any more
My soul is lost and my innocence for ever more
Something to abuse forget and leave shamed
I won't take no more anguish or pain

I may not find you
But you wont be forgotten
I will find out who you are
and you really are rotten

We never forget
and we will remember
just what you did take
and we'll hate you for ever

I've had enough and I wont take this hurt any more
My soul is returning you have no control any more
Something to forget and deny it's so clear
I won't take no more anguish, it's not my fear

Davie Boy (C) 2009